Relationships.

Today marks a great milestone in my young adult life. Although an insignificant deal to some, to me today is a joyous day. A year ago today, I began dating the most amazing girl I have ever met. Yes, I may be young and naive, but stupid and ungrateful I am not. I am by no means an expert at relationships, but this one I've found myself in is a very special one, one definitely worth holding on to. Some may say that love is hard to find, that I may not know what I'm talking about at the age of 19, but I've found an amazing person, a best friend, someone who knows me for me. I'm one of the few people who are fortunate enough to meet such an amazing person so early in life. Already, in a year's time, I've learned more about myself just being around her, than I have in my lifetime.

I'm by no means going to rant on about my happiness and the importance of today, as this, again, is not a blog about my relationships, but a blog about various factors in the life of a young man (or so I like to consider myself nowadays) and their impact and effect as it pertains to my life on deployment. But before I do all of that, I would like to thank one Miss Paige Nicole Whitmire for an amazing year, and suggest to my readers who don't know her (preferably the ones who personally know me) to share a conversation with her over lunch (if she can pencil you in to her busy schedule). She's a great person, and you can learn a lot from her, I certainly have. Hopefully I made her blush on that one.

Enough of the mushy sweet talk. A year might not seem so long to some, but military deployments do a wonderful job of putting time into perspective... it's an eternity, or certainly seems that way. In the year Paige and I have been dating, we've endured quite a few trying times, and even more great memories resulting in a bond of friendship comparable to none of a year's endurance (Ok, now it's out of my system). While we've only been physically together for about eight of the twelve months as a result of my military commitments, we've definitely been together in thoughts for all twelve months. The memories we made in the months we were together definitely outweigh the emotional stress of being apart, but unfortunately doesn't make it any easier to be away. Her unwaivering support, and frank but caring distaste towards my current occupation has only made us stronger as friends. This is not to say that our relationship is flawless; I may be conveyed as a celebrity look-alike of various actors (see future post "Quick Update", where I'll explain this further), but I certainly wouldn't pass as a Ward Cleaver archetype. I'm a real human, with real problems, making real mistakes and hopefully learning from and counteracting my flaws. It's an evolutionary process.

I've come to learn that spending time apart from friends, family, girlfriends, and wives is the undisputed hardest part of serving in the military for many soldiers. This grief is all the more rampant during holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. where family celebration was once commonplace. While everyone hides it well, separation is a huge factor in morale decline, and the reality of loneliness is inevitable. I've had a few conversations, even with guys who have been deployed two or three times prior to this deployment tell me how hard it is to leave home. This deployment, certainly different than one to Iraq or Afghanistan, still has it's hardships, and for many, those hardships cast gray clouds over the "paradise vacation" many think we are enjoying.

I can try to explain it in as many or few words as I want, but the experience is incomprehensible except to the guys here. The closest comparison is the emotional struggle of the families and friends back home, or even the mourning of the loss of a loved one: the separation often does leave me feeling as though I'm missing a part of me. Even with constant communication back home, everyone knows relationships truly aren't the same over the phone. Irregardless of how strong a relationship was in late November, keeping the sails of the relationship vessel full of wind can be a daunting and perpetually stressful test of emotion and heart. Our job here is important, and by no means are we undermining the mission when we ask, "Is it November yet?" Most of us aren't so blunt, but the frustration can be overwhelming. A casual observer would never know how much being away weighs on our thoughts and hearts.

We all hide it all too well.

For some, the struggle of not knowing what's going on back home, I'm sure, is unbearable. For me, I'm fortunate enough to be in a relationship with a great friend. The best part is knowing that we'll always be friends, irregardless of how much we disagree on anything. No matter how hard it is, or will get, I am grateful for the memories I have, and want nothing more than to have plenty more good memories. Deployments aren't easy, but the payoff of a much stronger relationship, and the time apart, will make our time together all the more special. I try to talk to the other guys about these sort of issues, it seems to help. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but hey, we've got 9 more months of this mission to go, maybe I'll learn a thing or two about relationships from them along the way.

All for now, picture today is of a sailboat on the sea, with Old Sharm in the background. You can see where the reef ends and the sea shelf starts.